It’s been forever since I posted on here. I dunno. Life got kind of crazy and I fell behind in writing and then I just couldn’t keep up.
Christmas was full of drama. My best friend’s mom ended up going into the hospital a few days before Christmas. She came home Christmas Eve. I was working the whole week opening for my best friend cause she took the week off. The day after Christmas, I came down with the flu and was really sick for a week. Like really bad. I was feverish and all I could do was sleep for 3 days straight.
And like always when I get sick, I went off my meds. Which made things ever worse. My therapist was upset about it and extremely concerned, cause I don’t like taper off or anything, I just stop all together. And then my mood gets all messed up, on top of getting sick with withdrawal symptoms (which I didn’t realize were withdrawal symptoms until she had me look them up to make a point).
But yeah. I got back on my meds and have been taking them regularly.
Works going okay. I’m getting more babysitting gigs, which is cool. I’m kind of hoping that picks up even more so I can make more money. If I start babysitting regularly it’d make things a lot better.
Things are… going. I guess. My therapist says I’m doing a lot better.
Last session, she got on me about practicing coping skills. Because I struggle to do that outside of therapy. It’s just really hard. I feel like I can’t do it. But I’ve done it in therapy a bunch of times and have brought my anxiety attacks down from 8/9s to 4-6s in therapy and stuff. Which is a lot I guess. Yet when I’m not in therapy, not being prompted to do it, I just… blank. Like. I don’t always think about coping skills. Or I think I should try but then I don’t. I think I talk myself out of it cause I feel like I can’t do it on my own. I don’t know. I end up trying to just suppress it and ignore it, which doesn’t make it any better.
I think I feel kind of withdrawn. I know I need to socialize with the family more and stuff. It’s so hard. I just want to shut myself in my room.
On a random note, I saw Frozen. It’s very good. Definitely in my top 10 disney movies. I really hope they keep putting out good stuff. It’s been so long since the classic disney of my childhood.
defying ptsd 